Rihanna

Has a voice that could strip paint from the Forth Rail Bridge.

I thought umbrella was kinda catchy, but after hearing it for the 2569 time it became like a life sentence. Each minute would last years, physics experts had to be called in to check this phenomena out.

Currently they have Rihanna working in the LHC as a replacement for one of the detectors. There had been concern about the LHC creating a black hole, however, all these worries were unfounded as the Black Hole would have been created by Rihanna's auto tuner going into meltdown.

I checked out the other tunes by her and my word, they really did go with the stronger material for the singles.

Jason Donovan Threatens Musical

Aye, the boy is after the cash on this and nothing else.

If he's going in the musical show direction with this one it's safe to assume Jason Donovan has been a Liar all his life.

Crunt!

Duffy - Rain On Your Parade

I can't stand Duffy now. I used to think she was OK.
But now it's just the same old shit again and again.
I supposed if I liked that kind of music it would be OK, however it's just the same old stuff flogged again.

She is 100 in my top 100 of fifty second new wave of old wave croon. 99 is alvin and the chipmunks. Wankers.

X Factor Finalists - Hero

I dislike this on a number of levels. But mostly as it's a terrible song.

I haven't heard it knowingly, even though I do watch the whole of Krypton Factor 2008.
I seem to enter a state of calm and drift off while my inner rage seems to be locked away temporarily. Simon Cowell lulls you into a false sense of security. imparting an almost Marks & Spencer feel to the whole thing, like we can expect real quality as everyone is improving. Everything is fine, have a mini quiche.

5 Mins towards the end and te trace is wearing off. Rage builds and I can feel the knot in my back twitch awake in the knowledge that everything on the screen is awful. A mockery of a sham, fallacy. It finishes and I have nowhere to vent my rage.

I am a sad man :(

Alesha Dixon - The Boy Does Nothing

As does this song. The first time you hear it reminds you of Mambo Number 5 etc :(.
I can here it being used as some music for You've been framed or perhaps for a channel four special about kids with ADD, featuring a montage video of kids on Ritalin.

People spent time on this number, so why does it sound so frickn dull.

Tom Jones sounds so much better out of the second new wave of old wave croon?

TOTP ITV Simon Cowell

If ITV bought it and Cowell made it it would be shit.

It was shit towards the end of it's life anyway cause of the way music was going and I got old.

I got old, therfore I lost touch with 'the kid's', I don't have a clue how kids get music these days.

Anyway Cowell just wants to fuck the corpse of TOTP like he always wanted to so he can say he did.

I don't think it'll happen, I hope it doesn't.

Jason Donovan Dreamboats & Petticoats

Jason Donovan said when he was working for PWL that he wasn't really into the style of songs he was doing at that time. Fair enough, we all do things we don't want to but have to.

So what's the reason for Dreamboats & Petticoats (apart from cash), does this song appeal to his previous core audience, the 3 g's, girls grannies and gays?

It bugs the shit out of me as it's such a lame song, it's as if heartbeat had been set to music.

Musical flatline.......................